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Zombie of the Week, Horrors of War PosterLike last week we’re continuing our festival of all things dead, nazi and wiggling with a movie that clearly fits the bill but that we’ve yet to track down and actually watch. “Horrors of War” is a 2006 movie that, if the Internet Movie Database summary is any indication just might have been a little full of itself:

HORRORS OF WAR derives from the “B” movie, Grindhouse tradition, made to play like a like a midnight movie. It is an independently-produced film made in a B-movie style, yet with a dramatic grounding and an eye toward bigger production values.

Still, who knows? The movie already has a leg up in that in that it features zombified Nazis. Or would that be Nazified zombies?

Zombie of the Week, Oasis of the ZombiesWe continue to celebrate the world of Nazi Zombies with the lost French classic from 1982 “Oasis of the Zombies” this week. “Lost” because we can’t find it anyplace and so have never see it, “French” because that’s an actual thing it is and  “Classic” because we’re clearly being extraordinarily generous.

The movie was apparently released in the U.S. under the title “Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies” but also under four or five others. The plot involves a treasure-hunting expedition scouring the African desert for lost Nazi gold that, it turns out, is still guarded by its escort: now undead. Apparently there are also helping, um, “handfuls” of boobs and gratuitous nudity but, again, we’re unable to find a copy to confirm this.

Still, Nazi zombies are Nazi zombies and that’s all that matters here!

I’ve gone on at length about the amazingly cool Vertigo comic series iZombie. Its throwback art style, hipster mentality and quirky characters made it one of the coolest, most endearing books of the past decade. I was excited when it was optioned for a TV show: finally I could share this masterpiece with everybody! Finally I could see a dead girl grapple with the challenges of undeath while a closeted were-terrier pined after her brother and a naive ghost from the 60’s tried to help out!

Nope. Not going to happen. This is what we’re going to get:

They’ve tossed every single aspect of the comic completely out in favor of… whatever the hell they wanted. As a further insult, even the name of the main character has been changed in service of GOD-DAMNED PUN. Show-runner Rob Thomas, creator of “Veronica Mars”, looks to have stolen the most basic premise from the source and made another quirky procedural, period.

I’ll admit that it may, actually, end up being a decent show. The premise does have legs and absolutely could support what they’re trying. Even if it does succeed, it’s not “iZombie” in any meaningful way. I’ll lament the fact that it’s existence all but ensures that there will never be an actual adaptation.

Urban DictionaryMore Nazi Zombies, this time defined as only The Urban Dictionary can do it. The dictionary has no less than eleven definitions for the term.

Sure, almost all of them are related to the nazi zombie game mode in “Call of Duty”, but that shouldn’t distract from the fact that the term is officially defined in perhaps the most unofficial way possible.

IMDB, Life After Beth“Life After Beth” on IMDB

Comedy/Horror – 2014 – 89 Minutes

At this stage in the game any attempt at originality in the zombie genre gets points. Real originality, of course. Plopping zombies in a new location – a tanning salon! a brokerage firm! a library! – doesn’t cut it. You need to try harder than that. This does.

Beth (Aubrey Plaza [IMDB] playing herself, as usual) is dead. Her boyfriend Zach (Dane DeHaan [IMDB]) is shattered. That is, at least, until he drops by to visit her parents and finds her wandering around the house. Other than being a little muddled, her funeral doesn’t seem to have slowed her down much. Her parents think it’s a miracle. He’s not going to argue; especially since she can’t seem to remember that she had dumped him the day she died.

She’s also decided that she’s most comfortable in the attic and loves smooth jazz. She doesn’t seem to feel pain, has freakish strength and violent mood swings. Zach tries to take things in stride, but it’s difficult to pretend that this is the same Beth he knew and loved. It’s also difficult to ignore that there’s something odd going on in general when other previously deceased people start popping up. As Beth, and the situation in general, degrade further, it becomes impossible.

The conceit is undeniably interesting: zombies are the reanimated recent dead but, at least for a little while, they’re basically themselves. They have some memory lapses and minor quirks, but aren’t something to be automatically feared. Once the rot and the hunger sets in they get more… “traditional”, but until then they may very well be considered a blessing.

The idea is original (at least as far as I know) and executed well, but the overall story has a slow unevenness that undermines it. It meanders through multiple genres without committing enough to any of them. The audience is unable to find comfortable footing and, in turn, means that many of the gags and emotional touch points fall flat.

Even if it’s just not enough of a horror movie… or a comedy… or a romance… to truly stand out, there’s still a lot to like. The A-list cast (or, maybe, “A minus” list) is excellent and do the best with what they have. A good budget goes a long way in a landscape of no-budget mediocrity. The ideas are fun and implemented with a minimum of cliche. It may sputter out at the end, but at least you passed some interesting scenery on the trip.

Call of Duty, Nazi ZombiesMore Nazi Zombies and more video games this week!

Call of Duty” has featured a popular zombie survival mode in all of it’s “Black Ops” titles. If you and a group of friends can survive steadily increasing numbers of more and more powerful zombies you get to… fight more zombies!

Ain’t that what them vidya games are all about, really? Doing something to get to do more of something?

 

Sniper Elite Nazi Zombies 1As we continue with our holiday theme of Nazi Zombies (because, why not?) we stay in the world of video games because there are apparently a lot of Nazi Zombies that need to be taken care of in here.

One of the purest example of this is the “Sniper Elite: Nazi Zombie Army” franchise, a popular offshoot of the “Sniper Elite” series. This game see a desperate – or maybe just bored – Hitler releasing a horde of undead soldiers on the world. You must use your super-sniper-skills to… shoot them from far away.

It really is more exciting than it sounds. If you’d like to blow the heads of nazi zombies yourself, you can get both games for $12.50 on Steam for the holidays.