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Dawn of the DeadThe 2004 remake of “Dawn of the Dead” is an undisputed classic in the zombie genre. It popularized the idea of zombies as the result of a transmittable sickness, gave us some of the first (maybe, in fact, the first) “fast zombies” and continued the time-honored tradition of reflecting the good and bad in human nature from the undead faces of ravenous, cannibal corpses.

One of the several memorable zombies featured (we’ve already covered perhaps the the most memorable one previously) was the nameless bloated woman. Brought in a small group of bedraggled survivors in a wheelbarrow, this fat, dirty woman (played by the very manly stuntman Ermes Blarasin) is only with us a few minutes before she turns, attacks and is brought down expertly by an annoyed nurse with a fireplace poker through the eye.

We salute you, you bloated, bloody, nameless corpse lady!

Zombie CocktailIn the late 1930’s restaurateur Donn Beach apparently decided that his customers were just too damn sober. So he pieced to together a cool, fruit-laden cocktail then injected it with enough Rum to kill a Republican. The rumor is that he created it to help a customer with a hangover, who then returned complaining that it had “turned him into a zombie.” That seems dubious, but The Zombie, has been a popular cocktail ever since.

Although Beach jealously guarded his recipes, it’s difficult to keep something like this completely secret when you have a chain of restaurants and a small herd of bartenders. According to the book, “Sippin’ Safari”, the original recipe included lime juice, falernum, Angostura bitters, Pernod, grenadine and three different kinds of rum. It’s also included something called “Don’s Mix,” which is rumored to be cinnamon syrup and grapefruit juice. I’d rather not have confirmation.

Comedian Billy Connolly, who zombie fans may remember played the titular zombie in 2012’s amazing “Fido“, once suggested that his audience try The Zombie. Apparently you “get drunk from the bottom up”:

Not being much of a drinker myself, I can’t say if he’s correct. If nothing else, it does seem a better way to go than getting eating alive by the animate dead.

Minecraft, Zombie PigmanPreviously we discussed regular old zombies in Minecraft, then we discussed their terrible little hellspawn, but up until now we’ve remained squarely rooted in reality. At least what passes for “reality” in Minecraft, which is pretty damn far from reality, but I hope you get the point.

However there is another reality. If you delve deeply and greedily enough and craft a diamond pick-ax, you’ll be able to mine obsidian. If you then arrange the rare obsidian blocks in an ancient, eldritch pattern (basically, a rectangle) and activate it with fire you will create a portal to this reality. You could also just cheat, I suppose.

Do you dare step through the portal and face the horrors of the other world?! Well, do ya? Dare, I mean? Well, if you do, you’re going to be face-to-rotting face with the horrific zombie pigmen of the Nether realms! They’re really not that bad.

I mean, yes, they are horrific.  They’re pigmen who are now zombies. That’s, at the very least, unsettling. But other than that, they’re pretty decent folks, really. They don’t bother you unless you bother them, they don’t mess with your stuff or fiddle with your radio presets. They just kind of wander around with their little golden swords out and ready.

Honestly, I wish more people were like them. I think I could deal with rotting flesh pretty well if people just minded their own damn business.

ZombeeI didn’t even realize this was a thing, but a thing it is! The Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County has tons of information about zombees! Basically when a honey bee is parasitized by the zombie fly (Apocephalus borealis in the smart talk) it stumbles out of it nest at night and wanders mindlessly.

Apparently the eggs change the bee’s mental state causing it to seek out lights in a weird, non-bee way. As the growing maggots eat the bee from the inside out it gets more erratic and less and less… alive. Over a dozen maggots can then emerge from a single bee, wander away for a little bit then pupate into adult zombie flies.

The website has all kinds of information on how to find, collect and study these little undead buggers. Not because the zombees themselves are dangerous, but because the Zombie Fly is rampaging through an already stricken honey bee population. So, if you ever happen to see a Zombie Fly, why not squish it?

Herman Munster vs Lurch

Our celebration of Frankenstein’s Monster as an honorary zombie has a twofer to cover the next two weeks. 1964 was an… odd, year for television. Both the Beatles and the Rolling Stones made their American debuts on the wildly popular, The Ed Sullivan Show, and  Jackie Mason was banned from the same show for giving Ed “the finger” on air. Both Gilligan’s Island and Jeopardy premiered as well, to the eventual delight of stoners everywhere, the Rankin and Bass classic Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. British audiences witnessed the first ever interracial kiss on television. NBC began their tradition of broadcasting the Olympic games with the first ever live telecast from Japan via the brand new Syncom 3 communications satellite.

It was also the year that, for some reason, American audiences demanded competing sitcoms featuring monsters. The Addams Family debuted September 18th on ABC, and the The Munsters began six days later on CBS; both ran until mid 1966. Both featured Frankenstein monster characters. Lurch, the long-suffering Addams Family butler played by Ted Cassidy, and Herman Munster, played by Fred Gwynne, the lovable schlep at the head of the Munster’s table.

So, who wins? Herman may have the speed, but it’s hard to argue with Lurch’s single-minded determination. Herman is quite a schemer, though; he may be able to outwit the less cosmopolitan Lurch. Lurch, on the other hand is a musician; you know what they say about “hidden depths” and all? So again, who wins in a knock-down, drag-out between these two? Who will pick up the (literal) pieces? Who?!