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Movie Review: Doghouse

Posted by kiwidust on August 25, 2012
Posted in: Movies. 1 comment

IMDB, Doghouse“Doghouse” on IMDB

Comedy/Horror –  2009 – 89 Minutes

[This review was originally published at our sister-site, DepressedPress.com onAugust 25, 2012.]

The premise here is somewhat promising: a group of misogynistic friends piss off the women in their lives to take their friend on one last bender before he gets married.  Instead of whatever the equivalent of Las Vegas is in Britain they rent a bus and head to a tiny, remote village (and the presumably empty house of a grandmother).  When they get there they discover that the entire female population has been turned into cannibalistic zombies.

The movie starts out strong.  We meet all the characters in a quick, frenetic, heavily cut sequence that will have most people thinking of Guy Ritchie.  It sets the tone well and let’s us know very quickly that we shouldn’t be taking things too seriously.  It really got me excited for the movie and had me looking forward to more.  Unfortunately it’s also the very best part.

The movie has some severe trouble trying to decide what it wants to be.  There are moments of pure horror, wacky spoof, action and silly romp.  It pinballs between them at a breakneck pace never letting the audience get comfortable with a concept.  We have serious attempts to drum-up emotion when we watch a favorite character die horribly followed by extended slow-motion sequences of an enormously fat zombie in a negligee and curlers running.  It’s like George Romero asked Benny Hill to choreograph a film.

There’s some great potential – as when the gang is trapped in different small shops in the center of the village and make do with the materials at hand to defend themselves.  The zombies are interesting if incredibly one-dimensional: there’s “The Bride”, “The Snipper”, “The Barmaid”, “The Witch”, “The Dentist” and so forth.  It’s essentially transferring strip club stereotyping and applying it to Zombie women but in context it almost works.

The movie’s clearly trying to replicate, to some degree at least, the success of “Shaun of the Dead” [IMDB] but just can’t manage it.   There are some great actors here – people I was really excited to see – so I have to blame the schizophrenic script and direction.  For real genre fans there might be enough to pull you in but there are definitely much better examples of the seven or eight movies this is trying to be.

Movie Review: Humans versus Zombies

Posted by kiwidust on August 25, 2012
Posted in: Movies. 1 comment

IMDB, Humans Versus Zombies“Humans versus Zombies” on IMDB

Comedy/Horror –  2011 – 93 Minutes

[This review was originally published at our sister-site, DepressedPress.com on August 25, 2012.]

Jumping on the “this versus that” bandwagon with both feet this one seems to forget that the formula really only works if those things are not normally at odds.  So, for example, the following might work: “Aliens versus Pirates”, “Ninjas versus Senators” or “Sled-dogs versus Dinosaurs” while the following probably won’t: “Democrats versus Republicans”, “Pretty Girls versus Pretty Girls” or “Cats versus Mice”.  To be fair, apparently the title is taken from the live-action role-playing game the movie is based on… but that doesn’t mean that we should have to suffer for it.

Making a movie about your hobby is a time-honored tradition – but you don’t actually name the movie after the hobby. You know that movie I reviewed about caving a little while back?  It wasn’t called “Caving”, it was called “Sanctum.”  We didn’t get “Street Racing”, we got “The Fast and the Furious”.  Sylvester Stallone didn’t star in “Boxing”, “Rock Climbing” or “Arm Wrestling” he starred in “Rocky”, “Cliff Hanger” and “Over the Top”.  You see what I mean?

Off the top of my head this movie could have been called “Tag, You’re Dead!”, “Game Over” or “Press Z to Quit”.  The most obvious is, of course, “HvZ”.  The tagline would be “The game was only practice!”  See how easy that was?  And I only thought about it for a few minutes.

The movie itself?  It’s bad, but for having a budget in the dozens of dollars it really wasn’t all that bad.  If you can track it down and like the genre, give it a chance – just don’t expect much.

Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2012: Fido

Posted by kiwidust on April 9, 2012
Posted in: BEBE 2012, Movies. 2 comments

imdb-fido“Fido” on IMDB

Horror/Comedy –  2006 – 93 Minutes

[This review was originally published at our sister-site, DepressedPress.com on April 9, 2012 and was a selection for Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2012.]

Although delayed a day due to family visits this marks the first selection in our annual “Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters” Easter zombie movie marathon.  We decided to start with something on more family friendly side of the genre.

Radioactive dust from space reanimates the dead causing a world-wide “Zombie War”.  After beating back the zombies into the unprotected “wild zones” 1950’s Americans enjoy an idyllic existence safe behind fences maintained by “ZomCon” a mega-conglomerate.  Zombies, via ZomCon collars that eliminate their blood-lust, become menial laborers and servants.

Timmy Robinson is an awkward boy suffering the unwanted attentions of bullies and wanting the attention of a neglectful father obsessed with death.  His mother engages a zombie servant in an effort to impress the new neighbors and he quickly befriends “Fido”.

The movie has a wonderful look highlighted by an over-saturated technicolor cast and panoramic widescreen that recalls classics from the golden age of color film.  The sets, props and costumes are all authentic-looking and draw you into the fiction they’ve created.   The period musical selections are effective but sometimes slightly overbearing.

Billy Connolly gives a sublime, wordless performance in the titular role.  You’ll laugh more at his meaningful glances and eye-rolls more than most anything else.  Carrie-Anne Moss is excellent (and will make you wonder why you’re not seeing more of her) and K’Sun Ray as Timmy is perfectly cast.  All the other featured performers are veteran actors (mostly from prime-time TV) and nobody can be called out in the negative.

The movie is rife with subtle (and not-so-subtle) commentary on American consumerism, social mores and morality.  Call-outs to classic tropes are plentiful and often hilarious (as when Fido must run home to tell Timmy’s mother that he’s in trouble).  The movie is thoughtful, fun and one of the most original takes on the genre.  I’m not sure how it slipped under our radar for six years but it’s a must-watch for any and all zombie fans!

Movie Review: Wasting Away

Posted by kiwidust on April 9, 2012
Posted in: BEBE 2012, Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters, Movies. 2 comments

IMDB, Wasting Away“Wasting Away” on IMDB

Horror –  2009 – 89 Minutes

[This review was originally published at our sister-site, DepressedPress.com on April 9, 2012 and was a selection for Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2012.  Note that this movie is listed as “Wasting Away” on Internet Movie Database but as “Aaah! Zombies!!” on Netflix – no idea why, but low-budget movies often have identity issues.]

Low budget movies can either play it straight and hope for the best or try something new and hope for the best.  Those in the latter category can, however, stand just a little taller and a little prouder.  Even if they fail.  This movie makes the effort and tries something new and while it doesn’t always succeed the attempt is more than a little infectious (pun noted).

The hook is that the action is predominately from the perspective of the zombies, who believe that they’ve been “saved” from a horrible plague by a super-soldier serum that’s given them super-powers.  The plague is turning the rest of humanity into super-fast, mindlessly aggressive drones that for some strange reason keep trying to destroy their brains.

The gimmick is indicated – cheaply but ultimately effectively – by switches between color (the zombie’s perceptions) and black-and-white (the “real world”).  The zombies see others as fast-moving, chipmunk-voiced and cartoon-like – others see the zombies as, well, zombies.  Special effects are borderline at best but the use of cheap practical effects is always better than cheap CGI.

Acting is serviceable and many of the characters are successfully likable.  The script is rough but works and for the most part stays on point with several main themes including a sweetly realized love story.  As you might predict with a concept film like this the ending just kind of trials off in several directions without ever truly succeeding in making a point but the ride is nice.

If you’re a genre fan, you’ve already sat through much worse movies with much less to say.  Our verdict on this one (my daughter’s favorite so far this year) is “give it a try.”

Movie Review: The Horde

Posted by kiwidust on April 9, 2012
Posted in: BEBE 2012, Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters, Movies. 1 comment

IMDB, The Horde“The Horde” on IMDB

Horror –  2009 – 89 Minutes

[This review was originally published at our sister-site, DepressedPress.com on April 9, 2012 and was a selection for Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2012.]

This is the fourth selection in our annual “Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters” Easter zombie movie marathon.  Since my daughter (who lacks the patience for subtitles) had a previous appointment my son and I decided to give this foreign example of the genre a go.

The French may have (or so I’ve heard) some issues with social graces but apparently no problems at all with crafting a truly kick-ass zombie flick.  This is a prime example of a straight-laced traditional zombie story.

A group of cops decide to take matters into their own hands after a crime boss kills one of their own.  They infiltrate his hideout, situated at the top of a condemned high-rise, to assassinate him but things go pear-shaped.   As the situation heats up the dead start to rise and attack the living and our two groups are forced to work together.

The group, nurturing a very uneasy truce, is navigates through the dilapidated building fighting off the horde promised in the title.  The zombies are fast and vicious and so are the protagonists.  Several of the extended battle sequences can be noted for the sheer, crippling brutality (some aspects of which are called out specifically in the script).

In what’s becoming a more popular choice no background is given on the cause or mechanics of the zombie uprising.  The audience is thrown into the story with as much background as the characters which both allows us to empathize more with them and increases the suspense.  Very little time is spent on exposition or discovery.  The movie knows its audience and wastes no effort repeating details.

There are no new ideas here but doing a well-worn concept exceedingly well is still worthy of praise.  Some people may be turned off by the subtitles that would be a shame.  This is a high-quality, well constructed zombie movie suitable for the most discerning genre fan and rivaling the best provided by American film-makers.

Movie Review: Zombie Apocalypse

Posted by kiwidust on April 9, 2012
Posted in: BEBE 2012, Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters, Movies. 2 comments

IMDB, Zombie Apocalypse“Zombie Apocalypse” on IMDB

Horror –  2011 – 87 Minutes

[This review was originally published at our sister-site, DepressedPress.com on April 9, 2012 and was a selection for Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2012.]

This is the second selection in our annual “Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters” Easter zombie movie marathon.  It’s becoming something of a mini-tradition to have Ving Rhames featured in a selection – if he remains true to form we’ll have a new option next year as well.

Any genre fan knows that “SyFy Original”  means a small collection of B-now-C-list actors interacting with terribly realized CGI effects.  This doesn’t change the formula but, unlike the majority of its siblings, features a surprisingly cogent script and (in comparison) quality performances.

We follow a group of survivors attempting to reach the safety of a quarantined island off the coast of California.  Much of the script deals with the survival techniques of the group and the growing pack-mentality of the zombies.  None of these side-threads ever overshadow the main focus.

The movie suffers most from the effects.  Horrible (but I have to assume very cheap) computer effects are used terribly in many places that would have benefited greatly from practical effects.  A computer generated sword cutting a throat or thrusting through a neck just looks wrong.  Terribly, terribly wrong.  The smallest of handguns produce explosive decapitations and gouts of blood added post production have no impact on the characters or the environment.  In all it just looks really stupid.

That being a given for a SyFy Original the movie isn’t actually that bad in total.  While it may seem like damning with faint praise producing a truly average movie is quite the accomplishment for SyFy productions.  There are better (much better) zombie movies available but as a diversion this is inoffensive enough.