Movies

IMDB, War of the DeadWar of the Dead” on IMDB

Action/Horror – 2011 – 86 Minutes

This was a selection for Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2013.   Both kids wandered away during it if that’s not too much foreshadowing.

I was looking for forward to this.  If there’s one thing that zombies do well, it’s infect others; in this case other genres.  I love World War II movies.   There’s an attractive simplicity to a conflict where everybody can agree who the bad-guys are.

The movie’s premise was more than a little needlessly confusing (I think this is what sent the kids scurrying away).  To simplify, a group of American and Finnish soldiers are sent on a mission to infiltrate a Russian research base run by Germans.  There’s a lot of weird nationalism at work that does quite a bit to muddy the water.  When they get there they find an enemy that’s stronger, faster and more ruthless than any they’ve ever met.

The movie covers the basics fairly well.  The acting is decent, for the budget, even if the actors can’t really support the many accents the script demands.  The script is wonky but not, I think, truly broken in any meaningful way even if the overarching ideas are clearly half-baked.  The cinematography is surprisingly good when the choppy editing allows it to be seen.

The core issue with the film is that the it fails to find a way to blend the multiple genres and, instead, seems to highlight the worst aspects of each.  The movie is vastly more “war movie” than “zombie” with its multiple gun battles and over-the-top action sequences.  These are all filmed in the dimmest of light with the moody cuts and odd camera angles of a zombie feature.  The styles conflict more than merge deflating the momentum from both.

I might also complain that the ending was more than a little drawn out and inscrutable but to be honest I had kind of lost interest by then.  Despite all of that I still think I have to recommend this one.  It really does have a lot going for it, at least compared to other options in the genre, and I could easily see my negative experience being in the minority.

IMDB, Warm Bodies“Warm Bodies” on IMDB

Comedy/Horror –  2013 – 98 Minutes

This may be the first big-budget entry into the growing collection of zom-rom-coms.  This may also be the most pure example of the sub-genre.  While films like “A Little Bit Zombie” [Our Review] or “Fido” [Our Review] have certain elements, their focus lies elsewhere; this one is all about the “rom”.

The basic story is a very loose – very loose –  interpretation of “Romeo and Juliet” (there’s even a balcony scene).  “R” (he can’t remember that rest of his name) is a singular Zombie.  He’s introspective, inquisitive and longs for something more.  When he sees Julie, a part of a scavenger squad from the walled city nearby, he’s instantly smitten.  Luckily, he’s just killed her boyfriend and eaten his brains (which, of course, gives him all the memories that those brains had) so he even knows a little bit about her.

The zombies in this movie just barely meet the definition.  They mill about well-enough but the script needs them to be approachable so they’re far from scary.  They have only the rudimentary make-up and generally have expressive faces and clear skin.  They talk (sort of) and have relationships (sort of).  The exception are the villainous “Bonies”, zombies that have given up, stripped the flesh from their bones (which somehow makes them faster and stronger) and will now attack anything.

R and Julie (get it?!) spend a fun, montage-fueled few days together.  When Julie tries to get back home R convinces his fellow corpses to let her go.  This awakens something in them.  They find themselves remembering their previous lives, their speech improves and they even begin to dream again.  The bonies don’t like this.

The movie is more “romantic” than “zombie” by any measure.  It’s just as predictable and simplistic as any other rom-com and just as annoying in the particulars.  The resolution is totally sappy and heavy-handed as hell but in the context it works perfectly.   I suppose the simplest way to frame this is to say that if you like rom-coms then you’ll really like this.  If, like me, you’re not so hot on them but do like zombies… well, it’s passable I guess.

IMDB, A Little Bit ZombieA Little Bit Zombie” on IMDB

Comedy – 2012 – 87 Minutes

This was our second selection for Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2013 and ended up being our favorite by far.  It has become, in fact, one of my daughters favorite movies.

The premise is pretty damn novel: a mosquito drinks from a zombie and then from our hero, Steve, who acquires the traits of a zombie but retains his senses.  The inability to feel pain is kind of fun, at first, but the need to eat brains (and an inability to eat anything else) becomes quickly problematic.

You see, Steve is actually on a weekend couples getaway with his girl, his sister and her boyfriend.  The plan was to spend the whole time planning out the perfect wedding for his demanding fiancée.  His new situation means that their plans have to change.

If you’ve spent any time with SyFy Channel original series then you’ll recognize most of the cast.  Many of them have starring roles in shows like “Sanctuary”, “Being Human” and “Primeval: New World”.  If you’re a fan of these shows (which we are) then the movie definitely gets an easy likability bump.

Not that it really needs it.  The jokes are silly, but deft.  The acting and staging is all high quality.  The script is clever and quick.  The only real complaint is that the movie really didn’t know how to end.  Things go off the rails a bit then veer back and everything just kind of stops.  That’s a minor complaint in the larger scheme.

Zombie comedy is hard (which is why, with few exceptions, most of it devolves to fart and dick jokes) and doing anything surprising or new with zombies is even harder.  This movie succeeds at both.  It’s one of the more likable movies, overall, that we’ve seen and an excellent family selection (this is a very soft “R” rating) for zombie fans.

IMDB, Resident Evil“Resident Evil” on IMDB

Horror – 2002 – 100 Minutes

This was our first selection for Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2013.  Of course we’d seen it before but when you’re still waking up and running through your morning routine it’s nice to start with something that doesn’t need your full attention.

This is the first in what’s since become a five movie – and counting – series.  A surprisingly solid series overall, despite a few unfortunate missteps, but one that that has gotten progressively larger in scope with each installment as the infection destroys more and more of humanity.  This first outing was a much closer, intimate film.  Nearly all the action takes places in what amounts to an office building – a fantastical, advanced underground office building to be sure, but an office building nonetheless.

The movie was designed to work within the seams of the video game series and does so admirably.  (In fact the movies have maintained significantly better internal consistency than the games.)  More importantly the movie was designed to work with the game not (as nearly all other game-movies) against it.  There’s no misguided attempts to attract a different audience, no eliminating what the core audience loved and no hubris leading to radically new ideas.  This is as close to a perfect video game movie as we’ve ever seen.

That’s not say it’s a perfect movie, of course.  By focusing on a group of trained, well-armed military personal it eliminates much (but not all) of the desperation and loneliness of the game.  The monster at the end is both convenient and clichéd and a lot of the science is… stupid.  Those are clearly minor complaints as the few places where it doesn’t work are either forgivable or ignorable for the greater part.  Everything else works.  Even things that shouldn’t work, like the hammy acting and over-the-top personality cliché’s work.  They work because they mirror and respect the game and so gain much of the goodwill and forgiveness than the game enjoys.

This is a modern classic both in the video game and zombie genres.  It’s not the most thought-provoking or original of films but it honors its source material, respects its audience and is utterly watchable.  What more could you want?

IMDB, Osombie“Osombie” on IMDB

Horror – 2012 – 90 Minutes

[This was a selection for Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2013.]

This really wasn’t “bad” so much as it was terribly (terribly) dull.  The title screams parody flick but the movie itself tries to play things completely seriously.  You really can’t argue with the decision: parody is harder than most people think and for the budget there’s a much greater chance to pull off a something serious.

The premise is pretty simple (if silly): after being buried at sea Osama Bin Laden’s corpse reanimates as a zombie.  He walks to Afghanistan where, somehow, a plot is raised to create an army of zombie terrorists and unleash them on the world.  A crack squad of NATO soldiers is sent to deal with the threat.  While there they collide with a civilian woman who is trying to track down her paranoid, conspiracy-minded brother who is convinced that Bin Laden isn’t really dead.

The action sequences, when they wander in, really do try and almost rise above but tend to settle into known tropes and ruts a little too easily.  The characters are all cut from the most stereotypical cloth and none ever really rise above mediocre.  The main plots devices are solid enough but completely paint-by-numbers and predictable.

Again, this really isn’t a bad movie.  It does have some strong points, especially considering the silliness of the premise, but they drown in a soup of bog average.  It just ended up boring.  The worst thing I can really say is that this 90 minute movie felt like 2 1/2 hours.

IMDB, Zombies Diaries 2“Zombie Diaries 2” on IMDB

Horror – 2011 – 88 Minutes

[This was a selection for Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters 2013.  Full disclosure: I had actually seen this before but had convinced myself that I had seen the first one.  So now I’ve seen this twice and still haven’t seen the first one.]

Three months ago zombies overran much of the world.  In the UK we’re introduced to Jonesy, a military documentarian trying to maintain a record of events.  He, his fellow soldiers and a handful of civilians survive, barely, within a lightly fortified military barracks.  One night, when their haven is overrun, he and a small group of survivors are forced to strike out toward the coast and a vague hope of rescue.

Like all found-footage movies this one has a tendency to collapse under the premise long before the end.  Jonesy’s camera has supernatural battery life and a nearly sentient ability to maintain subject focus even while running.  These can be forgiven pretty easily but the character decisions are harder to rationalize.  When your hero’s group of five is facing a field of dozens of zombies that must be crossed on foot and he keeps taping, you lose empathy damn quickly.

The script is completely straight and serious but unfortunately ham-fisted in places.  It’s dark, depressing and doesn’t have anything really good to say about humanity’s prospects.  The acting is uneven at best but the terse script doesn’t push anybody hard enough to make it a significant problem.  A warning: this one is definitely not for the kids.  There are several brutal scenes including an extended rape/murder sequence that’s not for the faint of heart.

The found footage sequences are broken up by brief flashbacks – and are ultimately discarded altogether – but they get more unbelievable as time moves on.  They ironically distract you from the narrative that the device is supposed to pull you into.  Most of the action (likely due to the budget) is rather small in scope but is punctuated by a few decent set-pieces.  Overall, this is a thoroughly mediocre movie but one that you may be surprised to find yourself liking depending on how forgiving you are of its flaws.

IMDB-ParanormanParanorman” on IMDB

Fantasy –  2012 – 92 Minutes

I went into this thinking “here’s another throw-away family film”.  Why wouldn’t I?  All of the trailers played up the shtick and the silliness.  All of the posters played up the zombies and the crazy cast of supporting characters.  I thought, “here’s a silly kids movie that I don’t have to pay much attention to while digesting a nice big Christmas meal.”

It did start off in that direction.  The first third of the movie introduces the characters with a healthy serving of one-liners (some even mildly risqué) and site-gags.  There’s nothing here for kids to complain about.  As the movie progresses, it gains both significant momentum and a surprising gravitas that completely enthralled me.  The raw emotional impact of the final act was both surprising as hell and incredibly effective.

Norman’s town is readying a celebration of their only claim to fame: the execution of a witch 300 years earlier who, so the story goes, cursed the town.  The story of the witch’s curse has, in modern times led to the adoption of a cartoonish town mascot and several other witch-themed tourist attractions.  Even in a town where a centuries-old curse is a point of pride Norman is, to be charitable, odd.  He can, so he says, speak with the dead.  For this he’s bullied, ridiculed and ostracized.  His family can’t relate to him and he has no friends.

Unknown to Norman, special people in his family not only can speak to the dead but have been the only thing keeping the witch’s spirit quiet by way of an annual ritual.  When the death of Norman’s eccentric uncle interrupts the ritual the curse is released and Norman and his band of unlikely companions must deal with the raising of the dead, the unleashed mob-mentality of the town and ramifications of his gift.

It’s difficult to describe the last act without spoiling the reveal, but it’s both a complete surprise and completely reasonable.  The film slowly but deftly leaves the childlike gags behind and matures into an impressively charged horror movie.  The last 20-30 minutes are as emotionally draining as anything you could care to name while remaining completely accessible to its young audience.  It reminded me positively of the depth and respect for the audience that the best young adult franchises, like “Doctor Who”, have.

It makes me so very happy when a movie rises above my preconceived notions of it and ends up revealing something more meaningful.  “Paranorman” is an excellent family film that hides within it a deep and thought provoking horror film.  It intelligently examines the cost of bullying, being different and fear of the unknown in a framework of compassionate empathy.  Its a surprising film and definitely not to be missed.

IMDB, The Corpse Bride“The Corpse Bride” on IMDB

Fantasy –  2005 – 77 Minutes

[This review was originally published at our sister-site, DepressedPress.com on November 11, 2012.]

This one just kind of slipped through the cracks on me.  I tend to watch all of Tim Burton’s [IMDB] movies even tho’, let’s face it, they are getting more than a little samey.  But this is an older one and, as it turns out, one of the better ones.

The plot is pure Burton.  It has been arranged for Victor to marry Victoria.  Nervous at marrying a woman that’s he doesn’t know Victor takes a walk into the woods to practice his vows.  Rising to the occasion he delivers such a moving rendition that he awakens the soul (and corpse) of a bride murdered before her wedding who assumes that they are now married.  This, as you might guess, leads to some awkwardness with his actual fiancée.

The movie is stop-motion animated and a spiritual (no pun intended) successor to the classic “The Nightmare Before Christmas” [IMDB].  There’s something wonderfully concrete and solid about stop-motion.  When done well, as it is here, nothing can beat it.  The film is lush with detail and personality that CGI or traditional cel animation simply can’t match.  The performances are well-matched and moving and the film is populated with a background cast of highly entertaining bit players.

On the negative side The story is a little sparse.  The character motivations are scattered and generally unbelievable.  Sadly the female characters, who you might expect to be much stronger, are rather weak and completely driven by a rather fickle Victor.  Still, at less than 80 minutes (with credits) it’s not hard to forgive a lack of depth.  Oh, the ending is almost patronizingly contrived as well.

If you’re a fan of Burton then you’ve probably already seen this anyway and have made up your own mind.  But if you let it slip through the cracks like I did, give it a shot.  It’s a little vapid, yes, but it’s a perfect example of Burton’s particular brand of dark, gothic humor.

IMDB, Doghouse“Doghouse” on IMDB

Comedy/Horror –  2009 – 89 Minutes

[This review was originally published at our sister-site, DepressedPress.com onAugust 25, 2012.]

The premise here is somewhat promising: a group of misogynistic friends piss off the women in their lives to take their friend on one last bender before he gets married.  Instead of whatever the equivalent of Las Vegas is in Britain they rent a bus and head to a tiny, remote village (and the presumably empty house of a grandmother).  When they get there they discover that the entire female population has been turned into cannibalistic zombies.

The movie starts out strong.  We meet all the characters in a quick, frenetic, heavily cut sequence that will have most people thinking of Guy Ritchie.  It sets the tone well and let’s us know very quickly that we shouldn’t be taking things too seriously.  It really got me excited for the movie and had me looking forward to more.  Unfortunately it’s also the very best part.

The movie has some severe trouble trying to decide what it wants to be.  There are moments of pure horror, wacky spoof, action and silly romp.  It pinballs between them at a breakneck pace never letting the audience get comfortable with a concept.  We have serious attempts to drum-up emotion when we watch a favorite character die horribly followed by extended slow-motion sequences of an enormously fat zombie in a negligee and curlers running.  It’s like George Romero asked Benny Hill to choreograph a film.

There’s some great potential – as when the gang is trapped in different small shops in the center of the village and make do with the materials at hand to defend themselves.  The zombies are interesting if incredibly one-dimensional: there’s “The Bride”, “The Snipper”, “The Barmaid”, “The Witch”, “The Dentist” and so forth.  It’s essentially transferring strip club stereotyping and applying it to Zombie women but in context it almost works.

The movie’s clearly trying to replicate, to some degree at least, the success of “Shaun of the Dead” [IMDB] but just can’t manage it.   There are some great actors here – people I was really excited to see – so I have to blame the schizophrenic script and direction.  For real genre fans there might be enough to pull you in but there are definitely much better examples of the seven or eight movies this is trying to be.

IMDB, Humans Versus Zombies“Humans versus Zombies” on IMDB

Comedy/Horror –  2011 – 93 Minutes

[This review was originally published at our sister-site, DepressedPress.com on August 25, 2012.]

Jumping on the “this versus that” bandwagon with both feet this one seems to forget that the formula really only works if those things are not normally at odds.  So, for example, the following might work: “Aliens versus Pirates”, “Ninjas versus Senators” or “Sled-dogs versus Dinosaurs” while the following probably won’t: “Democrats versus Republicans”, “Pretty Girls versus Pretty Girls” or “Cats versus Mice”.  To be fair, apparently the title is taken from the live-action role-playing game the movie is based on… but that doesn’t mean that we should have to suffer for it.

Making a movie about your hobby is a time-honored tradition – but you don’t actually name the movie after the hobby. You know that movie I reviewed about caving a little while back?  It wasn’t called “Caving”, it was called “Sanctum.”  We didn’t get “Street Racing”, we got “The Fast and the Furious”.  Sylvester Stallone didn’t star in “Boxing”, “Rock Climbing” or “Arm Wrestling” he starred in “Rocky”, “Cliff Hanger” and “Over the Top”.  You see what I mean?

Off the top of my head this movie could have been called “Tag, You’re Dead!”, “Game Over” or “Press Z to Quit”.  The most obvious is, of course, “HvZ”.  The tagline would be “The game was only practice!”  See how easy that was?  And I only thought about it for a few minutes.

The movie itself?  It’s bad, but for having a budget in the dozens of dollars it really wasn’t all that bad.  If you can track it down and like the genre, give it a chance – just don’t expect much.