I’ve gone on at length about the amazingly cool Vertigo comic series iZombie. Its throwback art style, hipster mentality and quirky characters made it one of the coolest, most endearing books of the past decade. I was excited when it was optioned for a TV show: finally I could share this masterpiece with everybody! Finally I could see a dead girl grapple with the challenges of undeath while a closeted were-terrier pined after her brother and a naive ghost from the 60’s tried to help out!

Nope. Not going to happen. This is what we’re going to get:

They’ve tossed every single aspect of the comic completely out in favor of… whatever the hell they wanted. As a further insult, even the name of the main character has been changed in service of GOD-DAMNED PUN. Show-runner Rob Thomas, creator of “Veronica Mars”, looks to have stolen the most basic premise from the source and made another quirky procedural, period.

I’ll admit that it may, actually, end up being a decent show. The premise does have legs and absolutely could support what they’re trying. Even if it does succeed, it’s not “iZombie” in any meaningful way. I’ll lament the fact that it’s existence all but ensures that there will never be an actual adaptation.