IMDB, Bigfoot vs Zombies“Bigfoot vs. Zombies” on IMDB

Horror/Comedy – 2016 – 75 Minutes

This film was a selection for BEBE 2016.

We always try to start our Easter marathon with something less, um… let’s say “intellectual”. We’ve just woken up and are still bleary-eyed, the kids are grumpy and we’re cobbling together a breakfast leftovers, dyed-eggs, pop-tarts and chocolate. Something that we don’t have to pay the strictest attention too is generally best.

This definitely fits that bill.

Ed and Andy are delivering cadavers to a “body farm”, where fresh corpses are left in natural, but controlled, conditions to benefit forensic science. The facility itself has a skeleton crew: there’s a single (mad) scientist, a cute peer/assistant/receptionist/something, the dumbass handyman and the slimy security guard. Oh yeah, there’s Bigfoot too. Bigfoot’s in this. He’s short, weird and looks like he’s covered in partially skinned dogs, but he’s Big “B” Bigfoot, dammit!

The (mad) scientist has been soaking the bodies with something designed to make them… something, and now they’re zombies. Really crappy ones. There’s just no effort made. The zombies are people with loose-fitting masks and what appear to be wigs stolen from old women. At one point the script calls for our heroes to bribe the slimy security guard with pornography. They stacked a bunch of copy paper together and – quite literally – printed out the words “Jugs and Thugz” in black and white. Mormon children could make a more convincing prop.

There’s a fine line between “fun no budget” and “sad no budget” and this shambles around it, but lands definitively on the “sad” side of the line. It’s slow and sloppy and Bigfoot is a complete non-starter. There’s no joy here at all.

 

BEBE Logo_TransToBlackAlas, BEBE 2016, our seventh year, is over!  Five movies (three good ones!) and, as usual, way too much food! Success!

We’ve had more than our share of life lately, so we decided to take it very easy this year. Anything that felt like work, we decided to ignore. It worked out very well. We had a minor setback as the zombie-themed gifts we ordered from Amazon won’t be here until tomorrow. Better late than never, we suppose.

Let’s see how we did according to the rules of Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters:

Watch Some Zombie Movies

Check!  Here’s the tally. We’ll be doing full reviews of all of these in the coming weeks:

  • Bigfoot vs. Zombies: Come for the stupid, laugh at the stupid. This was stupid.
  • Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead: Good, high-quality flick with some neat ideas. A hell of a good time!
  • Rammbock: This chased the kids away (they’re allergic to sub-titles), but they missed out. This was good.
  • April Apocalypse: Some good acting covers the many, many (many) plotholes. And the narration, oh sweet Jesus so much narration!
  • Shaun of the Dead: Perfection. Absolute perfection.

Of course, as a nice bonus, we also enjoyed a great new episode of “The Walking Dead” to top off the evening.

Eat Lots of Good Food

Check! We ate way too much Platter’s Chocolate and, as we did last year, made Crafty Zombie Cupcakes. Dinner was ham, smooshed taters, fried corn and hot rolls. It crushed us completely… for about an hour, then we had chocolate pie.

Play Some Games

Check! We did some of our favorite, Zombie Dice by Steve Jackson Games, but also spent time with the simple, but addictive Roll For It by Calliope Games. Both of these are simple, portable and easy to play.

Spend Some Time with Those You Love

Check! This was a nice, easy year for us. The kids spent more time than not with us, but they are teenagers, so did ignore us enough to maintain appearances at least.

We hope that you had a great day with those you love and were able to fit in a little fun and games.  We also hope to see you back here in 2017 for the the eighth anniversary of Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters!

Over the past three years we’ve celebrated over 150 of our favorites zombies, once per week. Lately, however, it’s felt more like work than fun, so we’re stopping. The last thing we need right now is another thing that feels like work.

We’re proud of the collection we’ve created and it’s all available in the complete Zombie of the Week archive. You can still expect more zombies from us, movie and game reviews and, of course, our yearly Boiled Eggs and Brain Eaters Easter celebration.

Fallout 4_20160108234820We’ve been playing Fallout 4 on the PlayStation 4 since its release on November 10th (you can follow our playthrough diary at our sister site, DepressedPress.com). We celebrated its new, more aggressive ghouls a few days later on November 15th. But what about the many interesting ghouls that don’t want to immediately chew your face off? This series is for them!

[Minor spoilers below!]

As you’re wandering down by the Boston waterfront, you might find a weirdly unaccompanied child amongst the super-mutants and raiders. Although you can spot at least three things that would kill him instantly within 50 feet, he seems more worried about a “sea monster” that’s peeping at him from out in the bay. If you agree to go investigate, you’ll be surprised to find a 200 year-old Chinese submarine.

If you board the relic, you’ll be even more surprised to find another relic: the 200 year-old Captain Zao! Despite the fact that he, you know, was the one directly responsible for nuking your hometown, he’s really not that bad a guy. Why not give him a hand with some fetch quests?

This is the 152th Zombie of the Week; that’s nearly three years of zombies! We are desperately running out of ideas! Please contact us with suggestions!

Fallout 4_20151121191749We’ve been playing Fallout 4 on the PlayStation 4 since its release on November 10th (you can follow our playthrough diary at our sister site, DepressedPress.com). We celebrated its new, more aggressive ghouls a few days later on November 15th. But what about the many interesting ghouls that don’t want to immediately chew your face off? This series is for them!

[Minor spoilers below!]

Kent is the key to our absolute favorite quest line in Fallout 4: The Silver Shroud! An eternal fan of the comic book hero, Kent spends his time in the Memory Den reliving old episodes of the ancient radio show. He’s so damn adorable! When he begs you to explore the local comics shop/TV studio and find memorabilia for him, you just gotta, right?

When you return with the costume (and the gun and some other goodies) he’s just so damn happy! The black trench coat and fedora. The pretty silver (but pretty damn useless) submachine gun. When he suggests that you wear that costume and go after bad guys – optionally delivering all of your dialog in the voice of the Shroud – you just gotta, right?

When the criminals get upset because you’re talking like a comic book character while shooting them in the face and kidnap him, he’s just so damn sad! With the torture and the pain and yelling. When you hear about it and get the option to run all the way to Medford and rescue him, you just gotta, right?

Kent’s great. We love Kent!

This is the 151th Zombie of the Week; that’s nearly three years of zombies! We are desperately running out of ideas! Please contact us with suggestions!

Fallout 4_20160105222135We’ve been playing Fallout 4 on the PlayStation 4 since its release on November 10th (you can follow our playthrough diary at our sister site, DepressedPress.com). We celebrated its new, more aggressive ghouls a few days later on November 15th. But what about the many interesting ghouls that don’t want to immediately chew your face off? This series is for them!

[Minor spoilers below!]

The ruins of Commonwealth police stations are littered with evidence of Eddie Winter’s wrongdoing and it seems clear that had armageddon not distracted them, the police would have been able to put Winter behind bars. It turns out that this would have been a very long time as Winters, obsessed with immortality, subjected himself to bizarre radiation experiments. Eventually they turned him into the very first ghoul!

This is the 150th Zombie of the Week; that’s nearly three years of zombies! We are desperately running out of ideas! Please contact us with suggestions!

Fallout 4_20151212014946We’ve been playing Fallout 4 on the PlayStation 4 since its release on November 10th (you can follow our playthrough diary at our sister site, DepressedPress.com). We continue to celebrate our favorite ghouls of the game.

This week, we bring you Arlen Glass, an absolute sweetheart. Arlen is the handyman at The Slog, the all Ghoul farm that you’ll likely run into fairly early in the game. You’ll learn later than Arlen was the lead toy designer at Atomatoys and head of the “Giddyup Buttercup” line of robot hobby horses.

He left the company when his superiors accepted military contracts and, shortly thereafter, was turned into a ghoul in the nuclear holocaust. One of the most poignant moments in the game comes when you bring Arlen a 200 year-old holotape allowing him to hear the voices of his lost wife and daughter.

Here’s to you, Arlen, making an old, fat gamer cry.

This is the 149th Zombie of the Week; that’s nearly three years of zombies! We are desperately running out of ideas! Please contact us with suggestions!

IMDB, Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse“Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse” on IMDB

Horror/Comedy – 2015 – 93 Minutes

We must admit, despite all sense, we were actually excited for this movie when it was announced. The premise was promising: how would a troop of scouts – and be clear: not trademarked and copyright protected “Boy Scouts“, just “scouts” – handle the zombie apocalypse? How would these legendarily prepared youths fare against the truly unexpected?

We never find out. The “troop” in this film is made up exactly three kids, all in their late teens. The characters are poster-board thin and they fall into their slots easily and without complaint. We have the everyman, Ben (Tye Sheridan), who pines for a girl, makes the best peace among his friends and always does the right thing. We have the fool, Carter (Logan Miller), who’s more interested in sex than woodcraft and screams every damn line. Both of them are still in scouts to spare the feelings of Augie (Joey Morgan), the overweight doofus, who hides untapped strength under his lovable naivete.

They have planned their last camping trip together to coincide both with the massive, but secret, senior rave that Carter and Ben are desperate to attend and the zombie plague that an inept janitor releases in a horrifically unfunny, drawn out sequence. When they discover the zombie problem, they join forces with Denise (Sarah Dumont), a cocktail waitress at the strip club that Carter insists they seek shelter in. Together, the group becomes determined to discover the location of the rave and warn their classmates.

The movie does as little as possible with its main premise. Ben whittles a spear at one point and Augie, in a cliche-ridden climax, redeems himself by starting a fire. The rest is a trite teen romp lightly drizzled in blood. It was promising to see a rated “R” zombie movie, for once, but it resulted in was gratuitous zombie nudity and an extended, graphic dick joke that stopped being funny long before it ended.

Furthermore, the movie commits the sin of pretending that having a single “strong” female character means its not sexist as hell. It is. Denise is a strong woman, and Dumont’s performance is as good as the material will allow. She also spends the entire film in a tank top and short-shorts and is forced to do and say ridiculous things in service of a half-assed frat mentality. The few other female characters are there to be nude or, at best, rescued.

The movie wasted, then ignored, its premise and its rating. There were a few – very few – laughs, but the few that worked initially were driven so heavily into the ground that they were ruined long before any kind of mood could be set. Zombie comedies are far from rare; you can and should avoid this one easily.

Fallout 4_20151210170502We’ve been playing Fallout 4 on the PlayStation 4 since its release on November 10th (you can follow our playthrough diary at our sister site, DepressedPress.com). We celebrated its new, more aggressive ghouls a few days later on November 15th. But what about the many interesting ghouls that don’t want to immediately chew your face off? This series is for them!

Minor spoilers ahead!

Bobbi No-nose (an odd name as none of the ghouls have noses) is an abrasive, joyless schemer who lies often and loudly. She’s truly a terrible person that drags you into an amazingly impracticable plot that almost gets you killed. On the plus side… there is no plus side.

This is the 148th Zombie of the Week; that’s nearly three years of zombies! We are desperately running out of ideas! Please contact us with suggestions!

Fallout 4_20151127230241We’ve been playing Fallout 4 on the PlayStation 4 since its release on November 10th (you can follow our playthrough diary at our sister site, DepressedPress.com). We celebrated its new, more aggressive ghouls a few days later on November 15th. But what about the many interesting ghouls that don’t want to immediately chew your face off? This series is for them!

Minor spoilers ahead!

First up, meet your friendly neighborhood Vault-Tec rep. He’s one of the first characters you meet in 2077 and it’s a good thing: moments after he signs you and your family up for the local vault nuclear hell breaks out. You make it to the vault just in time to see this dedicated company man get refused entry.

200 years later – years that you spent blissfully unaware in cryogenic suspension – you’ll come across the poor sap all miserable and ghoulified. He’s a little hostile and depressing at first, but if you’re patient you can offer him a job as a salesman in one of your settlements. This will perk him up tremendously.

This is the 147th Zombie of the Week; that’s nearly three years of zombies! We are desperately running out of ideas! Please contact us with suggestions!